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Can guys and girls be "just friends"?
Tweet Topic Started: Jan 2 2007, 08:48 PM (698 Views)
Julesy Jan 2 2007, 08:48 PM Post #1
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Im talking two straight people. I mean, yes you can be friends with them but in the long run one is going to be attracted to the other or both people will start to like eachother. I reckon its inevitable.
I mean, something attracted you to them to begin with in order to become friends,right?

I wouldnt like it if my guy had a girl"friend". Thats how we started out. Just friends. Now look at us!

I dont really have guy friends who arent a friend of mines bf or they are related to me. I feel thier is no need.

Post your thoughts.
PROVE ME WRONG!!
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Jane Jan 2 2007, 08:58 PM Post #2
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From personal experience I can't prove you wrong because Nicky's gay.

Me and my cousin were best friends when we were really young but that dosn't count right? I mean that was before I knew what sex was!


I had a guy friend where I used to work, and silly naive me thought he was just being nice to me because I was new and stuff...then one day out of the blue he called me beautiful and I started backing away at that point because he was married and I was almost married! So he wasn't just wanting to be my friend at all!
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Julesy Jan 2 2007, 09:16 PM Post #3
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SEE! Its always something more! Even if you dont want it to or expect anything!

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la anaconda de chocolatee Jan 2 2007, 09:35 PM Post #4
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I agree with you jules. Every man that I have been friends with for a minimum of one year I have made out with AT LEAST once during our friendship. Let's see there was this guy Jack that I used to work with at Old Country Buffet. I worked there from age 17-20. We were friends during those three years, we were really good friends. We made out several times, he was a really good kisser. We almost had sex 1 time but we didnt and the only reason why we didnt is cause my period was 8 days late and I was freaked out that I might be pregnant by one of our managers (who was the guy I lost my virginity to) even though we always used condoms and I knew it was a slim chance. I was housesitting my sister's place that night and I invited him over. We almost had sex. That was when I was 19. I lost touch with Jack about 2 years later. I always wondered what happened to him.

Anyway, that was the first example. The second one is this guy JJ whom I was good friends with in highschool. He always liked me and I was never interested in him in that way in highschool (even though he is a black guy! I know you are all shocked) After highschool we lost touch for a few years, then somehow around the age of 21-22 we got back in touch again, I forget how. Anyway, so around age 22 we started hanging out again for about 2 years. He still liked me, still wanted us to go out, I still didnt really see him as more than a friend. Finally one night I relented and we made out a few times. He wanted me to see his dick but I refused. It was then that I knew that no matter how great and cute of a guy he was, I would never be able to be more than just friends with him. Although nothing ever went beyond that, it is just an example that we at least made out.

Then there was darwin. I first met darwn when I was 20 after I left Old Country Buffet and started working at Catherine's again, which is the restaurant I work at now again. He was a bus boy there, fresh from ecuador just shy of a year. He didnt speak that much english when I first met him and he was so nerdy looking. If someone had told me then that I would end up marrying him. I would have laughed out loud and never believed them!

Anyway, it took a long time before I was ever attracted to Darwin. We worked together and we good friends for about 3 1/2 or 4 years until one day all of the sudden, he looked good to me. One day he was finally attractive to me. I guess because he was finally looking mature. When I met him he was 19 but looked like he was 16. Now he was 23 and looking good. His hair was so much better, he had nice facial hair that really suited him, and he got tanner. He was looking good to me! One night we made out, it was good. But I had just started dating someone shortly after that, as did he. A few months later after we were no longer dating those people, we hooked up again a few more times then again went off to date other people. about another 6 months after that, at the end of the year we had sex for the first time. I was dating this boring white guy for about 6 weeks (I had not slept with that dude) and while I was technically dating this guy I just could not resist darwin anymore, I had sex with darwin then broke it off with Jim. Right after that me and Darwin started dating, fell in love, moved in together, then got married.


There was this guy Mike whom I was good friends with all 4 years of highschool. WE never hooked up, I was never attracted to him I dont know if he were ever attracted to me or not. But I bet if we had continued to remain friends after highschool we probably would have at least made out once at some point. I was extremely shy in highschool, I never hooked up with anyone. I was a prude till I was 18! lol
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Julesy Jan 2 2007, 09:47 PM Post #5
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HAHAHA! Me Too! I was a mega dork in Highschool!

I reckon its just not really possible to remain friends with the opposite sex.
Eventually you become or they become attracted to you.

Now tell me, would you let your lovah have a best friends with the opposite sex?
I wouldnt. Doesnt matter how adamant they are about not being attracted to them. You hang out long enough, you soon will be!

Even you admit Michele. You werent attracted to Darwin one bit, then one day you were.
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la anaconda de chocolatee Jan 2 2007, 10:08 PM Post #6
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I never gave it much thought Jules, letting your lovah have a friend of the opposite sex. But now that I am thinking about it based on my past experiences, I say no!


My friend Sarah though has been best friends with a guy for the past decade and they have never ever once even hooked up, nothing. There was never any attraction there. Well now she hardly ever talks to him cause he now has one of those girlfriends that never lets him see the light of day! A girlfriend that monopolizes all of his time.

But when it came to their friendship, most of the girls that HE dated had a major problem with him and Sarah being such close friends, even though they truely honest to goodness were never more than just friends.

His one ex girlfriend especially was literally obsessed with Sarah being friends with him. She was raging with jealousy ALL THE TIME! She could never believe that there was nothing going on, she always thought that sarah was after him. Even years after her and Keith broke up, she STILL taunted Sarah whenever she would see her. Her name is Jenn. Sarah ran into her at a club about 3 years back. Sarah was there with her boyfriend (who is now her husband) and Jenn was there for her OWN BACHERLORETTE party, where she wasnt even marrying Keith but some other guy. Jenn got so upset and distraught from seeing Sarah there, sarah didnt even say one word to her but she was still so upset to see sarah there, even though keith was not there and she was marrying another man, that she actually had her friends go up to sarah and demand that she leave the club because Jenn was crying that she was there. Sarah refused to leave and her friends actually ATTACKED her, they started pounding her on the head, and this happened shortly after Sarah had just found out that she had a brain tumor. Can you believe that shit? PSYCHO! That girl was completley psycho! I am sure her marriage to the new guy didnt last long at all if she got so crazy upset over a girl whom her ex boyfriend was best friends with and never once cheated on her with sarah.

I wish I was there cause I actually used to know most of that girl Jenn's friends as a kid and I would have given them bitches a piece of my mind when they came and assaulted sarah! I would have tried my best to kick their asses!
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Julesy Jan 2 2007, 10:16 PM Post #7
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hmm

was Sarah more attractive than Keith(I hate to sound superficial) or were they friends since they were like, kids?

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la anaconda de chocolatee Jan 2 2007, 10:18 PM Post #8
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they were friends since elementary school but really close friends from highschool up until last year. Sarah is very pretty, she is naturally very attractive, she doesnt need to wear any makeup. So I can understand because girls are very easily intimidated and get jealous of her.
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Julesy Jan 2 2007, 10:21 PM Post #9
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hmmm perhaps a friendship starting from such an early age could be just that :a friendship.

What did he look like? Did any of your friend Sarahs bfs get jealous of her friend Kieth?
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Julesy Jan 3 2007, 01:28 AM Post #10
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OK OK. I will admit it. I was friends with the guy I have now, all throughout highschool. I knew he sorta dug me, and I him. We always kept it to being "just friends" never saying we actually had feelings other than friendship.

It wasnt until Senior year, I saw him "seriously" involved with some less then worthy fugly chica, that I started to want him.

The one guy I dated in highschool HATED our friendship and I totally denied it.
I mean it wasnt really anything but a girl and guy friendship, right?

WRONG! As soon as I let my feelings known to him, he ditched that fugly chica and we started dating.

Did I feel guilty? NO! I thought i waited long enough and that we deserved eachother.

All and all, I think being friends with the opposite sex is just a bogus lie.
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Denovissimus Jan 3 2007, 01:44 AM Post #11
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Well, I must say I am also of the opinion that a guy girl hetro "friendship" needs to be watched VERY closely.

But really, I think it just comes down to how attractive are the people we are talking about here? Even in gay friendships, I don't think I would like Miguel hanging out with a gay friend who I thought looked better than me. Hell fucking no. Good looking people attrack good looking people. I can honestly say that the friends Miguel and I traffic with are not as quite good looking as us. That is s terrible thing to say, but its the truth.

Now, good friends leads to good trust, and that can possibly lead to the slip of crossing the friend boundry into sex. For even moderatly good looking hetro male and female friendshps his can be the truth. So yes, it is a concern, it should always be a concern.

But one should not allow it to inhibit a friendship that existed before you. If you were in that person's life first, you have ever right to be precautios and to set some boundares. But if that person were in their lives before you, well then it becomes before difficult. One must tread carefully.

I really do think the odds are against the male female "just friends" thing, but that does not mean it cannot exist.
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Julesy Jan 3 2007, 01:51 AM Post #12
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Its INEVITABLE Jesse!

I love my guy with all my heart and alot of my friends and surprisingly alot of my family think he is not "good looking enough for me". Not that Im saying Im "gorgeous"Im far from it.Eww.

Maybe I do trust him based on just his looks. I dont know. All I know is that I was friends with him and it lead up to my seein him as "attractive". Only after I got to know him and trust him for a few years.

Maybe guys can sense this, I dont know. All I know is that he is mine now, and I am his forever.

I do admit that I found him utterly attractive when he was involved with another.

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la anaconda de chocolatee Jan 3 2007, 03:58 AM Post #13
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Julesy
Jan 2 2007, 10:21 PM
hmmm perhaps a friendship starting from such an early age could be just that :a friendship.

What did he look like? Did any of your friend Sarahs bfs get jealous of her friend Kieth?

Keith isnt a bad looking guy, he is cute. It is funny cause the poor guy always gets gay jokes. Like a lot of people that we went to highschool with thought that he was gay. I never thought it. He doesnt talk or act feminine, so I never got why people think that but they do. lol. I cant really remember which if any of sarah's ex boyfriends felt threatened by Keith. I am not sure.
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Julesy Jan 3 2007, 04:27 AM Post #14
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straight girls and guys dont mix

nor do gay peeps and other gay peeps

something will Always happend, whether you want it to or not!
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Jane Jan 3 2007, 05:59 PM Post #15
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Now if Nicky was to actually venture into this thread, he'd say that he and his best friend Gary are really just friends and have been so for over 10 years!

Maybe it can happen sometimes but it is the exception? Also ex's certainly can't be just friends because they must have sexual feeling somewhere for the person.
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Noname Jan 3 2007, 06:00 PM Post #16
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I think you are all wrong. Some people can be friends with eachother and just that because the attraction is never there. I mean, look at me, I have straight friends and even if I wasn't gay I wouldn't date them. Sometimes friendship is just there and "partners" aren't.
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Julesy Jan 3 2007, 06:08 PM Post #17
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But you arent "straight" so you cant compare. Even gay peeps friends "must be closely watched"

Its differente when you feel indifferent about the opposite sex.
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Julesy Jan 3 2007, 06:12 PM Post #18
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I hate to sound mean, but you dont know what its like
to be attracted to the opposite sex. I mean truly.
Straight guys are on a totally different level.

Thats all they think about!
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Noname Jan 3 2007, 06:19 PM Post #19
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Hey, I have dated girls!
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Julesy Jan 3 2007, 06:20 PM Post #20
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but you arent truly hetero

straight guys are mega different
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